Posts Tagged ‘mental health’

I love that the abbreviation for Seasonal Affective Disorder is, literally, SAD. Because that’s how it makes you feel! 🤷

So I had a bunch of different ideas for a beauty blog tonight, but I literally couldn’t muster the energy to take pictures and swatches and pull one together. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but it’s definitely that time of year again. I always say February is my least favorite month of the year, with March close behind. The big holidays that were so anticipated and so close together (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year’s Eve) are over… It’s getting colder and colder… Everything outside is dead… There’s snow and ice and it’s normally dreary.

As someone who has suffered from depression and various anxieties my whole life, you would think this would be a normal bout of depression, but since it hits me at the same time and with the same degree every single year, I’m going with SAD. It’s not quite as strong as a normal bout of my “normal” depression, but it bears a commonality.

Do you suffer? Here are some things I think might help:

1. Recognize it for what it is. If you are normally a cheery, happy go lucky person, don’t think something is “wrong” with you. If you Google it, one of the first things that come up is that this is very common, and especially common in the winter months.

2. If you need to, see a counselor or your doctor. Even if it’s only seasonal, I’m definitely an advocate of counseling if you think you need it. At any rate, it doesn’t hurt to try it, and you might end up sticking with it for other areas of your life.

3. Try to go with the flow. I try to post on my beauty Instagram 6 days a week, and I already missed two. It’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. Tell yourself you will shoot for tomorrow and if you need to, make an outline or list of what you would like to do.

4. Do low-key activities. So you are having trouble getting stuff accomplished. That is ok, but you don’t want to just lie on the couch for two months straight. I have found (for me), that makes me worse. Don’t pressure yourself or plan anything stressful, but find easy things that will engage you a bit. Read a book you’ve been setting aside. Check out that Netflix series you wanted to watch. Swatch a ton of palettes just to swatch and compare, not for Instagram-worthy pics.

5. I haven’t tried these, but I hear a lot of people have success. Go tanning, get a therapy lamp, or get a weighted blanket. So the tanning is to just have some warmth to your skin to make you feel better. The weighted blanket helps you feel snug and secure. The therapy lamp thing is not a normal lamp, but it’s very bright and supposed to mimic the sun on your face/body.

6. Try to exercise and eat well. I am currently failing at both, but I recognize both make you feel tons better, whether you are suffering from SAD or even just anytime. Your body needs the right nutrients go function properly, and your body needs exercise to maintain itself. If you have a gym nearby, try it out a couple of days a week. Check youtube for some yoga videos. Check out the Tasty site for some new recipes with lots of greens and fruits 🙂

On top of all, be kind to yourself! And be kind to others. You might not be the only one around you going through something 🙂

I hope to have a normal beauty blog up later this week! Here’s hoping 🙂



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I want to throw in some mental health posts or similar topics amongst my makeup posts. I feel like I find a lot of kindred spirits who are in the same or similar position to me.

I am only speaking on being a working mom because that’s all I have experience in. I am in no way or shape purposefully excluding the issues stay at home moms have…I just can’t personally speak on that topic.

In summary: man it is tough some days. Some days I have the most stressful days at work, then I pick up Genevieve (who is currently 17 months old)…my mom says she was a peach all day but then she just throws fit after fit all evening. I’m already riled up from work and it’s so draining to switch from work mode to mom mode. I can’t snap or be short with anyone at work, and I most certainly don’t want to with my baby. So all that frustration just stays inside. Super healthy.

Then there’s the guilt and longing. I want to be a stay at home mom. I long to do that while also feeling guilty that I’m not. Genevieve has started screaming and grabbing my legs when I drop her off at my mom’s house in the mornings. So I start my days sad and again, feeling guilty.

Then there’s the sadness. I’m working away and get a text…she just said a new word! Here’s a picture of her smiling away and playing. I want to be there, but I’m staring at this report on my computer.

I feel like this post kind of isn’t going anywhere, but days like today I just feel kind of scattered and sad. I had to call off work because I had no one to babysit and I had such a great day. I wasn’t nearly as stressed out as normal and Genevieve seemed happy to play with me all day. And I wasn’t trying to put cleaning up the house and doing errands into the 3-4 hours after work that Genevieve is with me and awake. I did stuff throughout the day and didn’t feel rushed. And I actually got some tasks done I had been putting off.

It’s hard to find time to post in my blog or take Instagram pictures or read up on new makeup. But I will just keep trucking along the best I can!

So to the working moms…I feel you. Keep doing your best! And cherish the time you do get to spend with your babies ❤️


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So back when I started my blog I used to post about pretty much anything, and I know I talked about mental health/conditions off and on. I was hesitant to make this post since I’ve recently steered it completely in the path of beauty and makeup, but then I was like…it’s my blog 🤔 Plus I believe my tag says MOSTLY makeup 😂

So I’ve suffered from a slew of things over the course of my life, both mental/emotional and physical. One of those things is panic attacks.

I can’t really say when they started. For some reason I can’t put a time in my head. I remember my first bad one. It was my first week at college. There was a meet and greet thing for English majors. I of course didn’t know anyone but I walked from my apartment clear to the campus by myself to go. I didn’t think anything of it until I walked into the building and heard people talking and laughing down the hallway. And it just hit me. The restroom was right across from the door I went in and I just ran into the bathroom. I cried while staring at the mirror for a long time. I want to say 10-20 minutes. And I finally managed to walk out and leave.

I kind of knew what happened but sadly thought it was just me being overwhelmed by the newness.

From that point on I’ve had them semi regularly. I can go awhile without them but then will have them repeatedly for awhile. Most of them are not debilitating. I would feel them coming on at work and I learned how to get myself through them. When I had an office job I would put headphones in and listen to music or get up and go into the bathroom for a few minutes.

So what prompted this blog is that I had a pretty bad one a few nights ago. I get so frustrated now. I used to be nice to myself and calmly talk myself through it, but now I have a baby. Like I can’t just throw her down and cry in the bathroom for an hour if no one is around.

Luckily my husband was home. What set me off would probably sound dumb but it was something on TV. I kind of felt funny when the episode started and didn’t like the feel of it. But then this scene came on… And I lost it. The other thing is…I normally feel them coming and there’s almost like a build up. This one slammed into me. I actually saw the edges of my vision go black, everything felt tight, and I felt nauseous and like I was going to throw up. And I just started sobbing. My husband who is normally helpful said, Allie, it’s not real.

Which as you can imagine, did not help. I felt stupid on top of everything else. I blurted out, watch her (the baby), and ran out of the room. I basically hyperventilated in my bedroom for 20 minutes.

And I just didn’t feel right for a good 24 hours. My whole face was puffy, I felt sluggish and dull, and everything was just slow and not life like.

And the best part: I just picture what set me off over and over again in my head. Especially right before bed. I’m scared I’m going to dream about it, because I have very vivid nightmares that mostly involve me dying or getting hurt.

So it’s been a struggle still to be normal. I don’t feel like writing. I don’t feel like creating new makeup looks. I have been watching the beauty community drama like it’s my job on YouTube as a distraction.

In conclusion, if you have made it this far: panic attacks suck. If you suffer from them, you are not alone. If you can, get help. I will someday. I have other issues that I’m letting prevent me from doing so. And if you read this all, thank you 🙂 I will go back to my normal blogs!


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